Jesus Wept

This, probably one of the shortest verses in the Bible, is one I have not really understood.  Why did He weep?  He knew He would be raising Lazarus from the dead momentarily.  He knew the sorrow of His friends would be turned into joy.  Like a blaze of glory, the pain and suffering would burn away in the bright light of His love.  So why did He weep?

My granddaughter Abby’s death last fall gave me an inkling of the why. At that moment in time, the man/God who is not contained by time, saw my sorrow, and that of my children.  He knew before I did how much pain would be involved when the promise of life turned to the ashes of despair.  He Knew!  He felt my pain.  And somehow knowing that made Him weep reassures me that, yes, He does carry my grief and sorrow.  Because He knows, I can take this burden and put it in His arms.  The arms that bore my sin also bore my griefs and sorrows. 

Dichotomy

When I was a child
it was easy to hold two seemingly contradictory truths in hand
and accept both

God is all powerful, created everything and is present everywhere and at all times
And
God loves me, cares about the smallest details of my life, and listens to my chatter

As I matured I realized how amazing God is-

His creativity spun off galaxies so astounding and planted sea creatures so deep
I'll never see them-

I was tempted to doubt His intimate involvement with me

But

I have known His touch
felt my tears dried
watched the miraculous happen
thrilled to His exquisite soul overwhelming

And so

The child in me still believes
In the God who loves to hear my chatter

Jars

Canning jars filled with delicious fruits and jellies always fill my heart with joy. It must be a trait handed down from my grandmothers of many generations. The contentment of a full pantry; evidence of a bountiful harvest and provision for the winter ahead.

Well, I'm not a farmer and I hardly have time to put up even one batch these years, but last weekend we did something that gives me the same wonderful feeling that all is well. It is so silly! We gathered up all our gallon, wide-mouthed jars and starting filling them with the random things in our pantry. Cereal, nuts, marshmallows, raisens, candy, crackers. Once we got started we ran out of jars and had to go get more. Michael spearheaded this adventure and when the day was over he called me to admire his handiwork. WOW! Not only does it look orderly and give us oodles more space, but you can see what you have in a glance. All this for the whopping expenditure of $12. Why did we ever give up glass?

Move over Rubbermaid and Tupperware, glass rules!

New Year's Plans

I am a planner! I suspect I have been one since day one. I like to know where I am going and how I am going to get there. It seems logical to me, in fact I have started work on a book about God's Plan for my life. The first part of writing has been to research what the Bible has to say about Plans. I went to my favorite verse:

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

How it blesses me to know that God has plans for my life. That even 'over-the-hill' I have a future in His eyes. More than that what I saw in this verse is that He Knows the plans. He doesn't say he is going to share them with me, or that I have to figure them out. But He knows. And that is more than enough.

Mother-goals

This week Kassie and I were talking about goals vs task orientation. While I can be task oriented, I have been goal focused in my life, specifically during my mommie years. These goals, while they influenced the lives of my family, were really about what I wanted to accomplish. They are in random order just because I can't bear to rate them :)

• Make sure my children knew God loves them.
• See that they learn to turn to him even before me.
• Be sure they know as early as possible the values I hold dear in case I am not around to teach them later.
• Impose no artificial limitations.
• Help them be responsible for themselves and for their own choices.
• Teach them to love nature; to stop and smell the roses.
• To be kind for no reason.
• To value characture over accomplishment both in themselves and in others.
• Be kind to themselves.
• That they are wonderful!
• That laughter cures a lot, even sickness.
• That the difficult things they encounter are not handicaps; just something to overcome.
• To strive to get better, not bitter.
  
  My personal goals:
  
  
• Live in such a way as to create happy wrinkles. (that is almost enough right there).
• Make where I have been a better place because God went there with me and blessed it and those there.
• Leave footprints even a child can follow.
• Create wonder in others.
• Simplify.
  
  Of course there are more; some forgotten, some abandoned, but all shaped who I am.

Seal-A-Meal Threatens Sanity

I used to think that Michael’s fascination with and over utilization of the document shredder was the ultimate in gadget fanaticism. No More! He now has a new ‘toy’ to play with and he is enjoying it to the fullest. Just for example, here are some of the latest lunacies:

Christmas Candy Mix. He decided to shrink the M&M’s, tootsie rolls, non-pariels, Jr. Mints and Jr. Mint Caramels together. Not so good. The Jr. Mints and caramels oozed out on everything. For someone who likes her flavors separate this was not a good solution.

Brownies: I asked him to freeze them for future use, thinking he’d freeze them in single serving. Nope, all 8 of them are squished together in shrink wrap. Maybe next year I’ll get desperate enough to open them.

Chopped Lettuce: This one was a winner – no browning

Five Pounds of flour: Another winner

Loaf of Christmas bread in refrigerator – in shrink wrap? Definitely discourages eating.

It’s really been a lot of fun watching him try it out on new stuff, but in the back of my mind is the fear that he will reduce something I really want –like a piece of chocolate cake - to paper thin proportions. I’m not that dedicated to my diet yet!

We have a running debate (surprised anyone?) as to what will happen to marshmallows. He thinks they will just puff back up – I think they will remain little disks of sugar, never to return to their original shape again.

So, what’s your vote, how do you think the marshmallows will perform? I’m sure we’ll conduct this experiment as soon as he finds out where I have hidden them.

Gotta love the man!

Morning Delight

Saturday I was relaxing in the hot tub enjoying the quiet gray around me. The cloud covering seemed almost iridescent with the shining sun trying to melt it away. So high up as to seem ethereal was a triangle of birds. Geese, I thought as I listened for the familiar HONK!. The sound was not quite right, more of a bugle. I looked again at the gray birds flying overhead. Their necks were beautifully long, their wings slender and graceful. Swans. What a delight!

Seasons of Life According to Nana

Spring – life begins and love blossoms and overnight is seems I’m married and pregnant and have a bevy of beautiful babies love and nurture.

Summer – the bevy turns into a herd (everybody and their friends at our place) and the frenetic pace of raising and enjoying every minute of their growing up is like the warmth of a pleasant summer sun interspersed at times with the spike of painful exposure like sunburn (their new ideas and tastes clashing with mine) until at last they enter their own spring and scatter like the falling leaves of approaching Autumn

Autumn – life settles into a lovely swirl of colors and reflections with moments of warming sunlight (the kids visit) followed by refreshingly cool evening (just the two of us again)

Winter –no longer fearful for here in the Northwest it is beautiful and restful, filled with days spent by the fireside, enjoying a good book and reflecting on the meaning of life (why did God choose to love me?) and the many blessings (family and the additions they have brought) swirling around our feet and in our memories.